Modern Fatherhood and Breaking Generational Cycles

Bianca

Alright, so Jerry, let’s get into it. Tell me about when you first found out you were gonna be a dad. Like, what went through your head?

Jerry McRae

I I remember feeling this overwhelming mix of emotions. You know, excitement, fear, even disbelief. It’s like, you hear the news and—bam—it hits you. Your life isn’t just about you anymore.

Bianca

Oof, I can imagine! Did you panic? Be honest.

Jerry McRae

Honestly, yeah, there was panic. I mean, as much as I was thrilled, it’s daunting. All the questions start rattling in your mind—am I ready for this? Can I provide? Will I be a good father? And then, when Camren was born, holding him for the first time, it was like everything just clicked... but also, everything felt... heavier, you know?

Bianca

Totally. Like, a mix of terrifying and amazing all at once. So, how did you handle all that? The weight of it all?

Jerry McRae

Well, it was my dad, really. He set the example. Growing up, he wasn’t just physically there, he was present. We used to sit and watch sports together, and he always made me feel valued, loved. I knew I wanted to give my kids that same kind of relationship. Connection through shared time, not just… existing in the same space, you know?

Bianca

Ah, that’s huge. I see so many dads now trying to do just that—be present for real, not just around. It’s refreshing. But it can’t be easy, right?

Jerry McRae

No, it’s not. Life gets noisy. But yeah, I make it intentional—whether it’s one-on-one time watching a movie, helping with their homework, or even something simple like cooking together in the kitchen. It’s those moments, the ones they’ll hopefully remember and carry with them.

Bianca

Man, I love that. Honestly, as a single mom, I see those kinds of dads stepping up all the time, and it’s inspiring. It’s like they realize they’re making memories, not just passing the days. But, uh—

Bianca

Okay, give me this. Were you ready for the sleepless nights? Be real.

Jerry McRae

Oh, absolutely not. Nobody’s ready for that. You think you are, but you’re not. And it’s not just the nights—it’s the mornings when you’re running on fumes but you still need to be dad, you know? It forces you to dig deep in ways you didn’t know were possible.

Bianca

Whew, I feel that. I think every parent listening is nodding right now like, "Yep, been there." What about the emotional stuff, though? Like, did fatherhood kinda... change you?

Jerry McRae

Absolutely. It rewires you, I think. You’re more protective, more patient. And you start seeing the world through their eyes. The littlest things matter so much more—their laughter, their questions, the way they look at you like you’re their whole world. It... it softens you, while also making you stronger. It's a paradox, and I love it.

Bianca

Wow. That's so real.

Bianca

You know, hearing you talk about how fatherhood has changed you, it gets me thinking—what about breaking those generational cycles? Jerry, you’ve mentioned before how important it is to unlearn toxic stuff—what does that actually look like?

Jerry McRae

Well, for me, it started with awareness. You know, recognizing patterns in my own childhood. My dad, he was an incredible role model, but he and I grew up in, uh, very different times. There’s stuff that worked for him back then, but I had to kinda, you know, rethink how I apply those lessons to my own kids.

Bianca

What kind of stuff are we talking about? Like, being strict?

Jerry McRae

Yeah, partly. It’s easy to think strictness equals discipline, but I’ve found that discipline without connection doesn’t really work. Instead of just laying down rules, I focus on understanding their emotions. Creating a space where they feel safe to express themselves—it’s been a game-changer.

Bianca

That’s so real. Especially nowadays, when kids are dealing with… like, way more emotional pressure, right?

Jerry McRae

Exactly. When I was a kid, emotional expression wasn’t really... normalized. Boys don’t cry, that whole mindset. But with Camren and Brianna, I make it a point to listen without judgment. To let them share what they feel—whether they’re upset, scared, or excited—and acknowledge those feelings.

Bianca

Ooh, I love that. It’s like you’re teaching them emotional intelligence early on, which is so rare. So, how’d you get good at that? Was it trial and error?

Jerry McRae

Pretty much. I mean, I had to unlearn the idea that being vulnerable makes you weak. There were times I I didn’t get it right. But, Bianca, once I saw how much opening up helped my kids trust me, it clicked. Vulnerability doesn’t weaken relationships—it strengthens them.

Bianca

That’s deep. But wait, let me share something—there was this neighbor my kids used to call "Uncle Dwayne" who completely redefined fatherhood for me. He wasn’t even their biological dad, but he stepped into this, uh, nurturing role. Cooking dinner, braiding hair—

Bianca

Like, he just didn’t care about those so-called “traditional dad things.” It was all about showing up for those kids, ya know?

Jerry McRae

That’s beautiful. And it goes to show how impactful those non-traditional roles can be. It’s not about what a dad “should” do—it’s about what a dad needs to do for his kids to thrive.

Bianca

Exactly! It’s like throwing out those outdated expectations and building bonds that matter. And honestly? I think a lot of men today are realizing that.

Jerry McRae

It’s encouraging, isn’t it? The idea that we can choose to be better for our kids, break those cycles, and, well, set them up for a healthier future. It’s a responsibility but also a privilege.

Bianca

Speaking of breaking cycles and redefining fatherhood, Jerry, have you heard about how becoming a dad actually rewires your brain? Like, it’s not just emotional—we’re talking about literal, physical changes here. Isn’t that wild?

Jerry McRae

Oh, it’s fascinating. I’ve read some studies about how men experience hormonal shifts once they become fathers. You know, increases in oxytocin and even drops in testosterone. It’s like nature’s way of making sure we’re, uh, nurturing instead of just instinctively protective.

Bianca

Wait, so you’re telling me, fatherhood can make men softer—like, emotionally?

Jerry McRae

To an extent, yes. That shift helps us bond with our kids. It’s not just psychological—it’s biological. Fathers develop more, um, empathy and responsiveness, which is why those early interactions with your baby are so powerful.

Bianca

That’s so wild. And, honestly? Kinda beautiful. It’s like nature saying, "Here, take these feelings and go be a great dad." But this wasn’t always the narrative, right? Like, back in the day dads weren’t expected to be as hands-on.

Jerry McRae

Exactly. Traditional fatherhood often meant being the provider and leaving the emotional stuff to moms. But now, men are embracing emotional presence. It’s a huge societal shift—one that’s challenging, but rewarding. Fathers are being encouraged to, you know, co-parent in every sense of the word: emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Bianca

And not just for the kids, right? Doesn’t that kind of connection make dads happier too?

Jerry McRae

It absolutely does. Engaging with your kids in those meaningful ways—it fuels you. I mean, for me, it’s been life-changing. It’s one thing to provide for my kids, but being there to watch Camren score his first goal or listen to Brianna chatter about her art projects... It’s priceless. It’s not just their growth I’m witnessing—it’s mine too.

Bianca

Oh my gosh, Jerry, stop—you’re gonna make me cry.

Jerry McRae

Well, it’s true! And, you know, writing my book was part of that process too. It’s my way of capturing those lessons, those emotions. Balancing my passion for writing and my role as their dad—it’s not always easy. But they inspire me to be better, to tell stories with purpose.

Bianca

That’s the heart of it, isn’t it? Being better, doing better for your kids, but also for yourself. Honestly, it’s inspiring to hear how much love and effort you put into this whole dad thing. Makes me think the next generation of dads might just be unstoppable.

Jerry McRae

Here’s hoping. Fatherhood isn’t just about shaping your kids—it’s about letting them shape you, too. And that’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.

Bianca

Alright, to all the dads out there, new dads, experienced dads, or even the uncles and stand-in dads—you guys are amazing. Keep showing up, keep growing. And that’s all we’ve got for today. Jerry, thanks for pouring your heart out here. It’s been incredible.

Jerry McRae

Thank you, Bianca. And thank you to everyone listening. Remember, fatherhood is a journey. Embrace it and cherish the moments along the way.

Bianca

That’s it, folks. We’ll catch you next time. Take care and stay inspired!