Fatherhood's Emotional Journey

Jerry McRae

You know, I still remember the first time I held Camren in my arms. It was like, um, this overwhelming wave of love... and fear all at once. I looked at Kelly said, "How do we even do this? How do we raise this tiny—tiny human into someone we can be proud of?"

Bianca

Whew, I gotta tell you, Jerry—I felt that, but like times three! When my first one came, I was just like, "Wait, ME? You’re trusting ME with this baby?" It's wild how love just takes over, even when you're scared outta your mind.

Jerry McRae

Right, and it’s not just love, but this sense of vulnerability too, isn’t it? Like, I’d never felt so exposed, so capable of being hurt. That’s what being a father did—it, um, it cracked something open in me, something I didn’t even know was closed.

Bianca

Oh, for sure. Especially as moms, and I know your wife Kelly can attest to this but we’re kinda taught to wear our emotions on our sleeves. But dads? Man, society’s standing there like, "Nah, you don’t get to feel anything. Just...just be strong and keep it movin’."

Jerry McRae

Exactly. And the crazy part is...that’s how so many fathers end up dealing with their emotions—or, or not dealing with them, I should say. It’s, uh, it’s this silent burden we carry, right? Society expects strength without vulnerability. And, well, that’s just not sustainable.

Bianca

Not at all! And can we talk about how nobody even checks in on dads? Like, you see moms with the whole village rallying around them, but with dads? Crickets. Total radio silence.

Jerry McRae

That’s true, Bianca. But you know, I—I’d like to think my own father set such a different example. I mean, my dad, he, uh, he embodied strength and love equally. He worked tirelessly to provide for us, yet he never hesitated to show affection, to tell us he loved us, to remind me how proud he was of me.

Bianca

Wow, Jerry. That’s—that’s beautiful. Sounds like your dad was one of a kind.

Jerry McRae

He really was. And his faith, it was... well, it was like this guiding light for him. Every decision, every action, it stemmed from that faith. And now, I try—I try every day—to carry that forward with Camren and Brianna. I want to show them that same balance of, um, of strength and love that he showed me.

Jerry McRae

You know, thinking back on the strength and love my dad showed me—when he passed, I—I felt like I’d lost my anchor. It wasn’t just his presence that I missed, but the guidance he gave me, the security I drew from him. And now, as a father myself, it was hard—so hard—to process that grief while still trying to carry forward what he taught me every day with Camren and Brianna.

Bianca

I can’t even imagine, Jerry. Like, how do you even balance that? Grieving while, you know, still showing up for your kids? That just sounds... so heavy.

Jerry McRae

It is—was, I mean. But I realized pretty quickly that hiding my pain wasn’t the answer. I—I didn’t want them to think sadness, or—or even admitting you’re struggling, was something to be ashamed of. So, I’d talk to them about what I was feeling. In, uh, in age-appropriate ways, of course. And they... well, they started opening up too. It was like we were carrying it together, instead of me holding it all alone.

Bianca

Dang, I love that. Like, how you made it okay for them to see you being vulnerable. That’s gotta be so powerful for them, right? To know it’s okay for dads to feel things too?

Jerry McRae

Absolutely. And it wasn’t easy, Bianca. There were days... there still are days, where it feels like too much, like I’m failing them somehow. But then I remind myself that just being honest—just being there—is enough. It really is.

Bianca

Oh, 100 percent. I mean, kids don’t need perfect, they just need present. And, let’s be real, nobody’s perfect anyway, you know?

Jerry McRae

You’re right. And one thing I learned is that grief has no timeline. No—no manual to follow. And honestly? Being open with my kids hasn’t just helped them—it’s helped me too. I’ve been able to process so much just by talking to them, by hearing their little perspectives on things. Their resilience. It’s, uh... it’s humbling.

Bianca

I feel that. Kids are so much tougher than we give them credit for. But at the same time, it’s up to us to kinda guide that, you know? Create a safe space where they can feel their feelings without feeling “too much.” You did that, Jerry. You’re doin’ that.

Jerry McRae

I try, Bianca. Every day, I try. For me, it's not just about helping them cope—it’s about showing them how to turn pain into strength. How to keep living, loving, and—and thriving, even when life gets hard.

Jerry McRae

You know, thinking back on how I’ve navigated grief with Camren and Brianna, it’s really made me realize how much emotional intelligence shapes our relationships. It’s not just about raising them to be strong—it’s about showing them that resilience means learning to feel, to process, and to grow from life’s challenges. With Camren, for example, I’ve been working on helping him manage setbacks, showing him that they don’t define who he is—but instead teach him how to move forward.

Bianca

Ooh, I love that, Jerry. And it’s not just about bouncing back, right? It’s about understanding their emotions in the first place. Like, with my kids, I’m always like, "Okay, you’re mad, but tell me why you’re mad." Getting them to name it, you know? That was a game changer for us.

Jerry McRae

Exactly, Bianca. Identifying emotions is such a huge part of it. With Camren, I’ve noticed that once he can name how he feels—whether it’s frustration or sadness—it makes it easier for him to navigate, uh, how to respond to those emotions, instead of just reacting instinctually.

Bianca

Yeah, yeah, totally. And honestly, I think it's, like, just as important with daughters! My oldest, Tasha, she had this moment where she felt left out at school, and instead of just sulking, we sat and talked it out. And it was messy—like, real tears mess—but by the end, she said, "Mom, I—I feel better now," and gave me the biggest hug. Those little wins? They matter so much.

Jerry McRae

They really do. And you know, I think it’s important for parents to acknowledge that raising emotionally aware kids means, well, doing that work ourselves too. Sometimes when Camren or Brianna are upset, it forces me to check in with my own feelings, to show them what healthy emotional intelligence looks like in action.

Bianca

Oh, for real. Like, our kids... they’re little mirrors, right? If we’re showing patience and understanding, they pick up on that. But if we’re yelling and slamming doors, guess what they’re gonna do?

Jerry McRae

Definitely. And, you know, studies even show that kids who develop emotional intelligence early tend to be more confident, more empathetic, and better at handling stress—even as adults. So, as fathers, we have to, um, play an active role here. It’s about breaking that old stereotype that dads are just... providers. We’re so much more than that.

Bianca

Absolutely. It’s, like, a two-way street. Moms and dads gotta work together on this. Dads need to show that it’s okay to feel, and moms need to make space for dads to do that. It’s teamwork, right?

Jerry McRae

Right. It’s a partnership. And honestly, Bianca, I’ve learned so much from just watching how Brianna navigates her feelings. And teaching her has been this mutual process—I’ve had to unlearn some things about myself along the way too. Emotional intelligence isn’t just for kids; it’s something we can all grow in, no matter how old we are.

Bianca

Preach, Jerry. And the best part is, when we do that, we’re kinda giving our kids a tool for life. Like, they’ll be able to handle whatever comes at 'em because they know how to feel things and not let it break ’em. That’s powerful.

Jerry McRae

It really is. And, you know, at the end of the day, it’s not about being perfect parents. It’s about being present and intentional. If we can do that—if we can give our kids that emotional foundation—we’re setting them up to thrive, no matter what life throws their way.

Bianca

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Well, Jerry, this has been such a great conversation. I swear, every time we talk, I leave with more to think about—and to try at home.

Jerry McRae

Same here, Bianca. Sharing these stories reminds me that all of us—moms, dads, single parents—we’re all just figuring it out, one day at a time. And that’s okay.

Bianca

Yup, totally okay. Well, folks, that’s it for today. Keep building those emotional bonds, keep showing up, and we’ll see you next time. Take care!